Monday, December 29, 2008
I Said I'd Be Back, and I Was Back!
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Just a reminder to everyone, I'm without regular internet access and sporadic computer use till I get back to my home. Regular Monday, Wednesday, and Friday posting will resume on January the 5th.
What have I learned about soccer over break so far? WAGS means both Wives and Girlfriends and Walgreens.
Playlist
I (with some help) put together a bitchin' playlist. Just let this puppy play and enjoy everything from Ben Folds to the GZA.
If you have a song or artist you think should be included in my updates send me and email and I'll see what I can do.
New Advantage Played Features
When I get back I'll have a side bar going down the left side of Advantage Played that lets you know the dates and times of upcoming MLS events.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
A Christmas Soccer Special
Listen to some music while reading
The Night Before the World Cup
Twas the night before the World Cup, and all through the house
Not a fan was stirring, not even a Scouse.
The 30 packs of beer were in the fridge with care,
In hopes that 3am would soon would be there.
The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While vapors of winning danced in their heads.
When from the alarm clock there arose such a clatter,
The fans ran down the stairs see the games that mattered.
Away to the fridge to grab a beer,
Turned on the remote and started to cheer.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a commercial for World Soccer Shop so clear.
With a familiar ring, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be FSC trying to be slick.
More rapid than Ronaldo I switched, from the 1987 ‘Pool game
And the fans whistled, and shouted, and called live games by name!
"Now Brazil! now, Spain! now, France and Costa Rica!
On, Portugal! On, USA! on, on Trinidad and Tobagin!
To the top of the group! to the top of the charts!
Now three points away! Beat away! Beat away all!"
And then, in a twinkling, we gulped down a beer
And danced around the room with World Cup cheer.
Then I smashed the beer on my head and turned around,
It was the game I had promised to watch with full sound.
The US and England together would meet.
For full points they’d fight, points they’d full need.
Oguchi Onyewu stood tall at the back.
Rooney stood quivering his arms limp and slack
Abonglahor cowered in his boots!
While Donavan scored to take the loot!
His bald head twinkled in the night air,
Bob Bradley pretended not be excited despite any scares
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
The England fans booed because they’re dumb fat jerks.
Then Freddy Adu and Jozy Alitdore,
Were released with a crash!
They sprang to the field and ran like a flash.
And I heard them exclaim as they scored of sight,
"Happy Soccer to all, and to England good-night!"
The Night Before the World Cup
Twas the night before the World Cup, and all through the house
Not a fan was stirring, not even a Scouse.
The 30 packs of beer were in the fridge with care,
In hopes that 3am would soon would be there.
The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While vapors of winning danced in their heads.
When from the alarm clock there arose such a clatter,
The fans ran down the stairs see the games that mattered.
Away to the fridge to grab a beer,
Turned on the remote and started to cheer.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a commercial for World Soccer Shop so clear.
With a familiar ring, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be FSC trying to be slick.
More rapid than Ronaldo I switched, from the 1987 ‘Pool game
And the fans whistled, and shouted, and called live games by name!
"Now Brazil! now, Spain! now, France and Costa Rica!
On, Portugal! On, USA! on, on Trinidad and Tobagin!
To the top of the group! to the top of the charts!
Now three points away! Beat away! Beat away all!"
And then, in a twinkling, we gulped down a beer
And danced around the room with World Cup cheer.
Then I smashed the beer on my head and turned around,
It was the game I had promised to watch with full sound.
The US and England together would meet.
For full points they’d fight, points they’d full need.
Oguchi Onyewu stood tall at the back.
Rooney stood quivering his arms limp and slack
Abonglahor cowered in his boots!
While Donavan scored to take the loot!
His bald head twinkled in the night air,
Bob Bradley pretended not be excited despite any scares
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
The England fans booed because they’re dumb fat jerks.
Then Freddy Adu and Jozy Alitdore,
Were released with a crash!
They sprang to the field and ran like a flash.
And I heard them exclaim as they scored of sight,
"Happy Soccer to all, and to England good-night!"
Monday, December 22, 2008
5 Types of Pick-Up Soccer Players
Listen to some chill music while reading Advantage Played
Pick-Up Soccer
No matter where you play pick-up soccer, gym, actual pitch, or bumpy grass field, you will run into the same types of soccer players. Who are these crazy footballers? Let me lay it out on the line for you.
1: Mr. Twinkle Toes
Mr. Twinkle Toes loves the ball and his Kaka jersey. If he had to choose between seeing his team score or doing a sweet step over he’s going to pick the step over every time. He doesn’t see soccer as a team game. When he’s on the field and has the ball, there is no need for a team.
Mr. Twinkle Toes believes that he can score every time he has the ball. No situation actually requires passing the ball. His magical abilities will surly take him down the pitch with no problem. All the way in the back corner? No problem. Mr. Twinkle Toes believes he can dribble his way out.
When Mr. Twinkle Toes doesn’t have the ball he believes everyone should pass it to him. You think you’re allowed to dribble and shoot? Wrong. Mr. Twinkle Toes will yell in frustration, “Why didn’t you pass the ball to me? I could have scored!”
Mr. Twinkle Toes will refuse to be the goalie. Often he will slink away for water breaks when it is his turn and can only be forced into the goal by direct confrontation.
2: The Longshot
The Longshot loves that moment when the ball connects with his foot and dips and spins into the top corner of the net. He’s scored amazing goals before and he’s convinced that he can score one every time he touches the ball. The Longshot just got done watching a You Tube compellation of John Arne Riise and is happy to swing as hard as possible with both feet.
The Longshot never stops believing in himself. Even thought the last ten times he got the ball he hit it 20 feet over the top of the goal and then watched the opposing goalie run to pick it up, he still believes. He’s the Mulder of pick-up soccer.
3: The Field General
The Field General knows his soccer. He’s probably played organized soccer at some point and knows how the game is supposed to be played. He knows how to make the runs, he knows when to pass, and he knows when to shoot. The Field General can be a great asset to your team if your team isn’t filled with Twinkle Toes and Longshots.
The Field General is also bipolar. On a team filled with mediocre and poor players he will start to overheat. When everyone is bunching together, no one is spreading the field, and there is no defense the Field General sees it all and he’s going to let you know it.
There the Field General stands, tying to command his stupid troops. With every order that is ignored, the Field General gets more annoyed. After enough frustration the Field General will give up trying to be helpful and turn into Mr. Twinkle Toes or the Longshot.
4: The Rager
The most dangerous pick-up soccer player, the Rager hides, often disguising himself as the Field General or Mr. Twinkle Toes. He will play normally for ten or twenty minutes before his anger and frustration boil over the top.
The Rager is usually calm until he is embarrassed, people start talking trash, or his team is losing badly. He’s a badass and he’s going to make it known one way or another. Oh it starts with little accidents, a high elbow, a kick in the back of the leg, an extra hard bump into goalie, but it quickly escalates to a serious level.
Get the Rager angry enough and the flying, two feet, studs up challenges come out. Get in the Ragers face and let him know what’s not acceptable.
5: The Old Man
The Old Man has been playing soccer forever. He knows the game better than anyone else on the field and he knows how to play every position. Because he doesn’t have the strength and the stamina of the younger players the Old Man is happy to play in defense. He’s not loud and angry, but he will let you know what to do if you are messing around.
The Old Man is a great asset. Unselfish, he will pass the ball and play defense when needed. If he wants to go forward in attack his teammates will generally cover for him. He never complains when it is his turn to be in goal, but he won't suffer in it forever.
Pick-Up Soccer
No matter where you play pick-up soccer, gym, actual pitch, or bumpy grass field, you will run into the same types of soccer players. Who are these crazy footballers? Let me lay it out on the line for you.
1: Mr. Twinkle Toes
Mr. Twinkle Toes loves the ball and his Kaka jersey. If he had to choose between seeing his team score or doing a sweet step over he’s going to pick the step over every time. He doesn’t see soccer as a team game. When he’s on the field and has the ball, there is no need for a team.Mr. Twinkle Toes believes that he can score every time he has the ball. No situation actually requires passing the ball. His magical abilities will surly take him down the pitch with no problem. All the way in the back corner? No problem. Mr. Twinkle Toes believes he can dribble his way out.
When Mr. Twinkle Toes doesn’t have the ball he believes everyone should pass it to him. You think you’re allowed to dribble and shoot? Wrong. Mr. Twinkle Toes will yell in frustration, “Why didn’t you pass the ball to me? I could have scored!”
Mr. Twinkle Toes will refuse to be the goalie. Often he will slink away for water breaks when it is his turn and can only be forced into the goal by direct confrontation.
2: The Longshot
The Longshot loves that moment when the ball connects with his foot and dips and spins into the top corner of the net. He’s scored amazing goals before and he’s convinced that he can score one every time he touches the ball. The Longshot just got done watching a You Tube compellation of John Arne Riise and is happy to swing as hard as possible with both feet.The Longshot never stops believing in himself. Even thought the last ten times he got the ball he hit it 20 feet over the top of the goal and then watched the opposing goalie run to pick it up, he still believes. He’s the Mulder of pick-up soccer.
3: The Field General
The Field General knows his soccer. He’s probably played organized soccer at some point and knows how the game is supposed to be played. He knows how to make the runs, he knows when to pass, and he knows when to shoot. The Field General can be a great asset to your team if your team isn’t filled with Twinkle Toes and Longshots.The Field General is also bipolar. On a team filled with mediocre and poor players he will start to overheat. When everyone is bunching together, no one is spreading the field, and there is no defense the Field General sees it all and he’s going to let you know it.
There the Field General stands, tying to command his stupid troops. With every order that is ignored, the Field General gets more annoyed. After enough frustration the Field General will give up trying to be helpful and turn into Mr. Twinkle Toes or the Longshot.
4: The Rager
The most dangerous pick-up soccer player, the Rager hides, often disguising himself as the Field General or Mr. Twinkle Toes. He will play normally for ten or twenty minutes before his anger and frustration boil over the top.The Rager is usually calm until he is embarrassed, people start talking trash, or his team is losing badly. He’s a badass and he’s going to make it known one way or another. Oh it starts with little accidents, a high elbow, a kick in the back of the leg, an extra hard bump into goalie, but it quickly escalates to a serious level.
Get the Rager angry enough and the flying, two feet, studs up challenges come out. Get in the Ragers face and let him know what’s not acceptable.
5: The Old Man
The Old Man has been playing soccer forever. He knows the game better than anyone else on the field and he knows how to play every position. Because he doesn’t have the strength and the stamina of the younger players the Old Man is happy to play in defense. He’s not loud and angry, but he will let you know what to do if you are messing around.The Old Man is a great asset. Unselfish, he will pass the ball and play defense when needed. If he wants to go forward in attack his teammates will generally cover for him. He never complains when it is his turn to be in goal, but he won't suffer in it forever.
Friday, December 19, 2008
What is Advantage Played?
Listening to Dr. Dre – The Chronic While Reading
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Emo Update
Hey ya’ll. Today I’m going to go all whiny and emo on you and talk about myself and this blog instead of going on about soccer news like supplemental drafts and Peter Crouch and Generation Adidas Players. What exactly is Advantage Played all about? What am I trying to do here, what is my purpose in blog life? How do I fit in with all 'dem other blogs out there?
The Answers to My Own Questions
I started Advantage Played about three weeks ago because I love soccer and I love writing. I figured I had some free time on my hand (even though I’m in graduate school) and might as well spend it writing about soccer.
I started Advantage Played with a review of the MLS '08 season because it gave me something stable to fill in a week or two. It went OK. I tried to include lots of videos. I’m not sure Advantage Played will ever be about straight news.
What Advantage Played Is Not
Well it’s not a straight news site. Everyone else has got that shit covered. And it’s not like The Offside Rules because I’m not about posting single pictures or videos. So where does that leave me?
What Advantage Played Is
Advantage Played is about media and writing combined. I think without doubt the best articles I’ve done so far is my interview with Ruud Gullit and yesterday’s piece on Fabio Capello’s favorite art. I promise to include pictures with every update, videos when possible, and a seeqpod playlist when there are no videos in the update.
So what is Advantage Played? It’s a satire, humorous, informative, and in depth blog that is media heavy. And it’s only updated three times a week. Sue me. I know some blogs updated several times a day but each of my updates (except this one) take a couple hours to put together.
Besides just humor and satire I hope to publish a series of interviews with college soccer players soon. I’ll take you inside the world of college soccer and look at young American players who are moving unnoticed through the system.
What Do You Want?
And then it also comes back to you. I know there are people reading this (thanks Google Analytics). What do you want to see more of? What have you enjoyed so far? Please email me at grahamfox@gmail.com
Twitter
Oh ya I update my Twitter feed a couple times every day and link to Match of the Day torrents on the weekends. So follow me because I’m cool.
Christmas Updates
You’ll get a Monday update about God knows what. Probably a Wednesday update too but it’s going to get sporadic after that. I'll be back to regular posting for sure by the 5th of January.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Emo Update
Hey ya’ll. Today I’m going to go all whiny and emo on you and talk about myself and this blog instead of going on about soccer news like supplemental drafts and Peter Crouch and Generation Adidas Players. What exactly is Advantage Played all about? What am I trying to do here, what is my purpose in blog life? How do I fit in with all 'dem other blogs out there?
The Answers to My Own Questions
I started Advantage Played about three weeks ago because I love soccer and I love writing. I figured I had some free time on my hand (even though I’m in graduate school) and might as well spend it writing about soccer.
I started Advantage Played with a review of the MLS '08 season because it gave me something stable to fill in a week or two. It went OK. I tried to include lots of videos. I’m not sure Advantage Played will ever be about straight news.
What Advantage Played Is Not
Well it’s not a straight news site. Everyone else has got that shit covered. And it’s not like The Offside Rules because I’m not about posting single pictures or videos. So where does that leave me?
What Advantage Played Is
Advantage Played is about media and writing combined. I think without doubt the best articles I’ve done so far is my interview with Ruud Gullit and yesterday’s piece on Fabio Capello’s favorite art. I promise to include pictures with every update, videos when possible, and a seeqpod playlist when there are no videos in the update.
So what is Advantage Played? It’s a satire, humorous, informative, and in depth blog that is media heavy. And it’s only updated three times a week. Sue me. I know some blogs updated several times a day but each of my updates (except this one) take a couple hours to put together.
Besides just humor and satire I hope to publish a series of interviews with college soccer players soon. I’ll take you inside the world of college soccer and look at young American players who are moving unnoticed through the system.
What Do You Want?
And then it also comes back to you. I know there are people reading this (thanks Google Analytics). What do you want to see more of? What have you enjoyed so far? Please email me at grahamfox@gmail.com
Oh ya I update my Twitter feed a couple times every day and link to Match of the Day torrents on the weekends. So follow me because I’m cool.
Christmas Updates
You’ll get a Monday update about God knows what. Probably a Wednesday update too but it’s going to get sporadic after that. I'll be back to regular posting for sure by the 5th of January.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
All Fabio Capello Wants for Christmas is Some Art Work
Listen to some Rockin’ Music While Reading
Art and Soccer
Hey everyone welcome back to Advantage Played, pull on your art hats and your tight jeans ‘cause today we are going to explore what Fabio Capello wants for Christmas.
I was going to show you some boring old pie charts of the MLS season but screw that. After reading about Capello’s wish list (thanks to duNord) I am compelled to show some of the English national team head coach’s favorite contemporary artists.
The Quote
In his interview with La Gazzetta dello Sport, Capello revealed his Christmas wish is:
The Art - “Cy Twombly, an American”
Twombly, besides having a great last name, is best known for his almost painting / calligraphy that stretch across many canvases. His dramatic, large scale, art work speaks of power, size, and precision with loss of control. Twombly brings us back to a time when we were small and forced to write on horrible chalkboards.
What Does Twombly Tell Us About Capello?
Twombly’s paintings tell us that Capello knows what it is to have control and no control at the same time. While Capello can draw up battle plans, learn and train his players, and shape their mindsets, in the grand scheme he has no control.
When the English players go on the field they are like the paint dripping out of the lines Capello has so neatly painted. As long as they hold true to his basic lines they will not only make their own mark but show the true genius within Capello. If Capello has not painted the original lines correctly the footballers will fall to the ground and seep into the earth.
The Art – “Georg Baselitz, a German”
Georg Baselitz politically and sexually charged painting have caused political scandal and outrage. Despite police intervention Baselitz continues to be a bestselling painter who will not stop. He shows us unease. Baselitz’s images are at once bloody, ominous, sexual, and beautiful. Baselitz is a neo impressionist who is naturally drawn to sexuality and the past warfare in Germany.
Baselitz shows us that Capello is not afraid to look at the world from a different direction. He knows that Fleet Street is not to be taken at face value. Their perspectives are often the most obvious. They view situations right side up. They love the sexually charged but at the same time are afraid of it.
Capello looks at football from every angle. He knows football is about everything. Love, sex, blood, and war. To be successful at football he has to look at what the rest of the world looks at right side up and examine it from the angles that elicit fear. Capello views the normal as abstract. He knows that we are all sexual and the orgasm of scoring is closer to the moment of fulfillment in sex than we realize.
The Art – “Englishman Peter Doig”
Peter Doig (actually a Scotsman), layers his paintings so they are real, yet have an element of fear. Doig often used postcards and pictures as reference points before showing us what we expect from angles we had no idea were possible. Danger and the abstract lurk behind even the most calming scenes.
What Does Doig Tell Us About Capello?
Doig shows us that Capello is capable of looking at even the most peaceful scenes and divining both the positive and negative outcomes. Doig’s unexpected layers and angles tell us that when Capello looks on a lonely football pitch in a stadium full of empty seats he can see all the outcomes.
Capello knows that the football pitch is capable of bringing forth feelings that are deep within us. Football makes us look at time both in the short and the long term. On the pitch the long term is often obscured by the moment. Capello knows that the red card is not only an ending but a new beginning full of opportunity and chance. The defeat is often a win though no one but Capello can tell it is so.
Next Time on Advantage Played
Who knows? I keep telling you and then changing my mind.
Art and Soccer
Hey everyone welcome back to Advantage Played, pull on your art hats and your tight jeans ‘cause today we are going to explore what Fabio Capello wants for Christmas.
I was going to show you some boring old pie charts of the MLS season but screw that. After reading about Capello’s wish list (thanks to duNord) I am compelled to show some of the English national team head coach’s favorite contemporary artists.
The Quote
In his interview with La Gazzetta dello Sport, Capello revealed his Christmas wish is:
"A painting, like always. In the letter I write to Santa Claus I put down three contemporary artists: Cy Twombly, an American, Georg Baselitz, a German, and the Englishman Peter Doig. The problem is that they don't do sales."What do these artists tell us about Capello? Come with me on a magical art journey where I show you pretty pictures and explore Capello’s psychology!
The Art - “Cy Twombly, an American”
Twombly, besides having a great last name, is best known for his almost painting / calligraphy that stretch across many canvases. His dramatic, large scale, art work speaks of power, size, and precision with loss of control. Twombly brings us back to a time when we were small and forced to write on horrible chalkboards.What Does Twombly Tell Us About Capello?
Twombly’s paintings tell us that Capello knows what it is to have control and no control at the same time. While Capello can draw up battle plans, learn and train his players, and shape their mindsets, in the grand scheme he has no control.When the English players go on the field they are like the paint dripping out of the lines Capello has so neatly painted. As long as they hold true to his basic lines they will not only make their own mark but show the true genius within Capello. If Capello has not painted the original lines correctly the footballers will fall to the ground and seep into the earth.
The Art – “Georg Baselitz, a German”
Georg Baselitz politically and sexually charged painting have caused political scandal and outrage. Despite police intervention Baselitz continues to be a bestselling painter who will not stop. He shows us unease. Baselitz’s images are at once bloody, ominous, sexual, and beautiful. Baselitz is a neo impressionist who is naturally drawn to sexuality and the past warfare in Germany."An object painted upside down is suitable for painting because it is unsuitable as an object."What Does Baselitz Tell Us About Capello?
—Georg Baselitz
Baselitz shows us that Capello is not afraid to look at the world from a different direction. He knows that Fleet Street is not to be taken at face value. Their perspectives are often the most obvious. They view situations right side up. They love the sexually charged but at the same time are afraid of it.Capello looks at football from every angle. He knows football is about everything. Love, sex, blood, and war. To be successful at football he has to look at what the rest of the world looks at right side up and examine it from the angles that elicit fear. Capello views the normal as abstract. He knows that we are all sexual and the orgasm of scoring is closer to the moment of fulfillment in sex than we realize.
The Art – “Englishman Peter Doig”
Peter Doig (actually a Scotsman), layers his paintings so they are real, yet have an element of fear. Doig often used postcards and pictures as reference points before showing us what we expect from angles we had no idea were possible. Danger and the abstract lurk behind even the most calming scenes.What Does Doig Tell Us About Capello?
Doig shows us that Capello is capable of looking at even the most peaceful scenes and divining both the positive and negative outcomes. Doig’s unexpected layers and angles tell us that when Capello looks on a lonely football pitch in a stadium full of empty seats he can see all the outcomes.Capello knows that the football pitch is capable of bringing forth feelings that are deep within us. Football makes us look at time both in the short and the long term. On the pitch the long term is often obscured by the moment. Capello knows that the red card is not only an ending but a new beginning full of opportunity and chance. The defeat is often a win though no one but Capello can tell it is so.
Next Time on Advantage Played
Who knows? I keep telling you and then changing my mind.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Graphs Sure Are Boss
More Than I Promised
I know in Friday’s updated I promised we were done with the season review but I also promised to go over some amazing line graphs. Those are contradicting promises but I’m not perfect ok? All I can do is make two promises and keep one of them.
I promise you will all be professional footballers one day. I also promise you will find this update interesting.
Listen to some bumpin’ music while reading
Graph Time!
While doing my season wrap I knew I wanted to show you ways to look at the season besides just watching videos and writing about overall themes. Yesterday I sat down with excel and started to enter results and dates when I realized there was an easier way to look at it all.
Setting the Table tracks all of the games and is your one stop shop for MLS results set into a single table. They also keep track of the individual team’s season on great line graph. I’m going to defer to their great work instead of plotting everything myself.
Chivas USA
When you view Chivas’ season from a distance you can really feel the injuries and ups and downs of the season. More than any other team, Chivas’ year was composed of dramatic wins that inspired confidence and crushing loses that threw the team into downward spirals.
After their first lose (CLB4, CHV 3) of the season Chivas crumbled into a five game downward spiral. In the loss both Mendoza and Kljestan earned red cards. Without the leaders on the pitch Chivas hurt for the next game and three afterwards.
Over and over, confidence is cited by both players and coaches as the main factor to win in the playoffs. Chivas’ graph yells, “We have no confidence.”
KC Wizards
The road is not your best friend. Kansas City’s graph screams, “Don’t get long stretches of road games.” Kansas City hit a brutal seven game road trip early in the season and the after effects lingered even after the trip was completed. The road decimated Kansas City, shattering confidence and wearing out the older players.
Kansas City’s season was saved through trades that reenergized the team and the emergence of young players who broke into the first team.
Columbus
If the key to winning the MLS cup is consistency and confidence, Columbus has all that and more. They had very few stumbles and heading into the playoffs they were the most confident, consistent, and dominate of any MLS team. Only New England’s graph looks anywhere close to Columbus’.
Houston
If consistency and confidence is all that is required to win, Houston could have well been three time champs. After a bad start they steadily moved ever upwards. They had experience and depth at almost every position and were tested and true. Yet despite increasingly positive results and momentum going into the playoffs they were unable to turn all the positives into a win.
Confidence can also be a killer (as can lots of games).
LA Galaxy
The Galaxy were hurt more than any other team by bad coaching. The huge dip in form (above) was a horrible stretch of loss after loss, not a win in sight. I know I’ve hidden my distaste for Ruud Gullit, but talk about incompetent. You know you are in for a horrible season when your head coach doesn’t deem the draft important enough to attend.
Only Colorado was as horribly coached. The only reason they got close to the playoffs is because they had the talent to start and turn things around once Gary Smith was brought in.
Think About Your Feelings
Lookey there. Those graphs not only show how your team performed over the season, they also show how you felt over the season. All those times your team lost and you felt like shite? Right there on the graph. All those times you thought your team was going to make a run up to the top of the table and abruptly failed? Right there.
How nice to have our emotional swings so neatly laid out for us. Thanks again Setting the Table!
Next Time on Advantage Played
I didn’t fuck around with excel totally in vain. I didn’t come up with some sweet pie graphs which I’ll proudly strut in front of you next time on Advantage Played.
I know in Friday’s updated I promised we were done with the season review but I also promised to go over some amazing line graphs. Those are contradicting promises but I’m not perfect ok? All I can do is make two promises and keep one of them.
I promise you will all be professional footballers one day. I also promise you will find this update interesting.
Listen to some bumpin’ music while reading
Graph Time!
While doing my season wrap I knew I wanted to show you ways to look at the season besides just watching videos and writing about overall themes. Yesterday I sat down with excel and started to enter results and dates when I realized there was an easier way to look at it all.
Setting the Table tracks all of the games and is your one stop shop for MLS results set into a single table. They also keep track of the individual team’s season on great line graph. I’m going to defer to their great work instead of plotting everything myself.
Chivas USA
When you view Chivas’ season from a distance you can really feel the injuries and ups and downs of the season. More than any other team, Chivas’ year was composed of dramatic wins that inspired confidence and crushing loses that threw the team into downward spirals.After their first lose (CLB4, CHV 3) of the season Chivas crumbled into a five game downward spiral. In the loss both Mendoza and Kljestan earned red cards. Without the leaders on the pitch Chivas hurt for the next game and three afterwards.
Over and over, confidence is cited by both players and coaches as the main factor to win in the playoffs. Chivas’ graph yells, “We have no confidence.”
KC Wizards
The road is not your best friend. Kansas City’s graph screams, “Don’t get long stretches of road games.” Kansas City hit a brutal seven game road trip early in the season and the after effects lingered even after the trip was completed. The road decimated Kansas City, shattering confidence and wearing out the older players.Kansas City’s season was saved through trades that reenergized the team and the emergence of young players who broke into the first team.
Columbus
If the key to winning the MLS cup is consistency and confidence, Columbus has all that and more. They had very few stumbles and heading into the playoffs they were the most confident, consistent, and dominate of any MLS team. Only New England’s graph looks anywhere close to Columbus’.Houston
If consistency and confidence is all that is required to win, Houston could have well been three time champs. After a bad start they steadily moved ever upwards. They had experience and depth at almost every position and were tested and true. Yet despite increasingly positive results and momentum going into the playoffs they were unable to turn all the positives into a win.Confidence can also be a killer (as can lots of games).
LA Galaxy
The Galaxy were hurt more than any other team by bad coaching. The huge dip in form (above) was a horrible stretch of loss after loss, not a win in sight. I know I’ve hidden my distaste for Ruud Gullit, but talk about incompetent. You know you are in for a horrible season when your head coach doesn’t deem the draft important enough to attend.Only Colorado was as horribly coached. The only reason they got close to the playoffs is because they had the talent to start and turn things around once Gary Smith was brought in.
Think About Your Feelings
Lookey there. Those graphs not only show how your team performed over the season, they also show how you felt over the season. All those times your team lost and you felt like shite? Right there on the graph. All those times you thought your team was going to make a run up to the top of the table and abruptly failed? Right there.
How nice to have our emotional swings so neatly laid out for us. Thanks again Setting the Table!
Next Time on Advantage Played
I didn’t fuck around with excel totally in vain. I didn’t come up with some sweet pie graphs which I’ll proudly strut in front of you next time on Advantage Played.
Friday, December 12, 2008
The This Just Happened Machine Part 5
MLS 08 Review: The Playoffs
This is the end. After this there will be no more MLS 08 review. I am sure you are all weeping tears of sadness and despair right now.
However, the end of the review just means that Advantage Played can now get to the really unique and interesting stories. Remember, Advantage Played is updated every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
NOVEMBER
Top News
-Playoff time bitches!
CONFERENCE SEMIFINALS (FIRST LEG)
November 1st
-Chivas vs. Salt Lake: RSL 1, CHV 0
The first leg of the conference semi finals saw all the playoff teams get draws except a very exciting match in Rio Tinto Stadium. Yura Movsisyan showed up again late to pull RSL ahead in the series. With all the other games stalemates in the first leg, RSL proved to be the only real winner.
CONFERENCE SEMIFINALS (2ND LEG)
November 6th
-New England vs. Chicago: CHI 3, NE 0
The second leg brought both goals and a small bit of resolution. Chicago absolutely smashed New England once they managed to bring them home. In a dangerous game full of fouls, Jeff Larentowicz was unlucky to be the only player who sustained serious injuries. The plague of hurt and red cards that had recently swept over New England saw them lose out to the better and healthier team.
November 9th
-New York vs. Houston: NY 3, HOU 0
This game was the only real upset in the semifinals. Everyone was sure Houston would get through. They were steady. They had experience. They know how to win in the postseason. But Osorio and New York had different plans. Osorio used Dane Richards to exploit Wade Barret and engineered a incredible win at Houston.
EASTERN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP
November 13th
-Chicago vs. Columbus: CLB 2, CHI 1
Columbus really showed what they were made of in a conference championship that some writers said should be the MLS Cup match up. Chicago found themselves up a goal after Brian McBride scored a sublime header, but Columbus came out a different team in the second half, and Schelotto engineered a great comeback.
WESTERN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP
November 15
-New York vs. Salt Lake: NY 1, RSL 0
Weeks after this game I still can’t believe that Salt Lake didn’t score a goal. After Dave van de Burg scored, New York sat back and amazingly stopped Salt Lake despite immense pressure. Salt Lake’s luck was summed up in stoppage time when Morales hit the post instead of scoring.
MLS CUP
November 23
-New York vs. Columbus: CLB 3, NY 1
What a great final. Columbus didn't need to come from behind this time and instead brushed off the New York challenge. Schelotto showed up like only he knows how to do. For in-depth coverage of the cup check out my duNord breakdown.
Next Time on Advantage Played
Monday: Checkout an amazing line graph of the MLS 08 season. Who doesn’t love graphs?
This is the end. After this there will be no more MLS 08 review. I am sure you are all weeping tears of sadness and despair right now.
However, the end of the review just means that Advantage Played can now get to the really unique and interesting stories. Remember, Advantage Played is updated every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
NOVEMBER
Top News
-Playoff time bitches!
CONFERENCE SEMIFINALS (FIRST LEG)
November 1st
-Chivas vs. Salt Lake: RSL 1, CHV 0
The first leg of the conference semi finals saw all the playoff teams get draws except a very exciting match in Rio Tinto Stadium. Yura Movsisyan showed up again late to pull RSL ahead in the series. With all the other games stalemates in the first leg, RSL proved to be the only real winner.
CONFERENCE SEMIFINALS (2ND LEG)
November 6th
-New England vs. Chicago: CHI 3, NE 0
The second leg brought both goals and a small bit of resolution. Chicago absolutely smashed New England once they managed to bring them home. In a dangerous game full of fouls, Jeff Larentowicz was unlucky to be the only player who sustained serious injuries. The plague of hurt and red cards that had recently swept over New England saw them lose out to the better and healthier team.
November 9th
-New York vs. Houston: NY 3, HOU 0
This game was the only real upset in the semifinals. Everyone was sure Houston would get through. They were steady. They had experience. They know how to win in the postseason. But Osorio and New York had different plans. Osorio used Dane Richards to exploit Wade Barret and engineered a incredible win at Houston.
EASTERN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP
November 13th
-Chicago vs. Columbus: CLB 2, CHI 1
Columbus really showed what they were made of in a conference championship that some writers said should be the MLS Cup match up. Chicago found themselves up a goal after Brian McBride scored a sublime header, but Columbus came out a different team in the second half, and Schelotto engineered a great comeback.
WESTERN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP
November 15
-New York vs. Salt Lake: NY 1, RSL 0
Weeks after this game I still can’t believe that Salt Lake didn’t score a goal. After Dave van de Burg scored, New York sat back and amazingly stopped Salt Lake despite immense pressure. Salt Lake’s luck was summed up in stoppage time when Morales hit the post instead of scoring.
MLS CUP
November 23
-New York vs. Columbus: CLB 3, NY 1
What a great final. Columbus didn't need to come from behind this time and instead brushed off the New York challenge. Schelotto showed up like only he knows how to do. For in-depth coverage of the cup check out my duNord breakdown.
Next Time on Advantage Played
Monday: Checkout an amazing line graph of the MLS 08 season. Who doesn’t love graphs?
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The Not So Far Back Machine Part 4
Welcome back to the MLS Season Review
We took a break on Monday for a glamorous review with Ruud Gullit in which I finally learned to spell Gullit correctly every time I typed it. Only one “I.” That’s a tip from the best.
Where am I finding all these great games? Well MLSNet is a great source though it tries its best to hide the content. Go to the MLS 2008 Schedule to view all the games month by month.
Let’s get down to business!
SEPTEMBER
Top News
-Toronto FC has too many international players
-Espindola hurts his ankle celebrating
-LA Keeper Josh Wicks has funny hair
-Samuel Adams makes a quality beer
Signings and Transfers
-Herculez Gomez is traded to Kansas City
-Red Bulls sign GK Terry Boss; did they know a drug suspension was coming?
-Red Bulls sign USL star Kandji
-Victorine is traded from KC to Chivas
-Movsisyan is traded to RSL
September 6th
-New England vs. Columbus: CLB 4, NE 0
This first goal in this game is one of my favorites. Schelotto scores his first goal in the run play and joy is etched across his face.
September 13th
-LA Galaxy vs. Kansas City: KC 2, LA 0
A key player in Kansas Cities run to the playoffs, Kevin Souter, saw the field for the first time in the season and stole the ball from Beckham with his first touch.
September 21st
-Dallas vs. Chicago: DAL 4, CHI 1
Jeff Cunningham showed why he should be believed in and it was probably the coach not him.
September 27th
-Salt Lake vs. San Jose: RSL 3, SJ 2
RSL gets an important win despite a Huckerby double.
Advantage Played: Feeling the Best and Worst
Feeling Best:
-Columbus: “We are as good as Sigi is round.”
Feeling Worst:
-Toronto: “Kansas City steals our chants!”
OCTOBER
Top News
-Rio Tinto Stadium opens
-Cooper turns down US call up and shocks the online soccer world
- Conway and Parke banned for performance enhancing drugs
-Real Salt Lake get into the playoffs
-Taylor Twellman is out for the rest of the season with concussion problems
-There is a new MLS cup trophy!
-Danny Cepero scores a fluke bouncer
-Will Johnson scores the goal of the year
Signings and Transfers
-Beckham is going to train with AC Milan and probably won’t return to MLS
October 4th
-Chivas vs. D.C.: CHV 3, DC 0
Chivas deal a crucial blow to D.C.’s title hopes.
October 12th
-Colorado vs. LA Galaxy: LA 3, COL 2
LA seemingly crushes Colorado’s playoff hopes.
October 18th
-Columbus vs. New York: NY 3, CLB 1
New York picks up crucial points against the league leader.
October 25th
-Salt Lake vs. Colorado: RSL1, COL 1
Movsisyan shows why he going to be a big star and brings Salt Lake into the playoffs.
Advantage Played: Feeling the Best and Worst
Feeling Best:
-Real Salt Lake: “Holy shit.”
Feeling Worst:
-Colorado: “No one thought we could make the playoffs but it is still a huge letdown”
-DC United: "Well this sucks."
Next Time on Advantage Played
We will wrap up the MLS 08 season. Get ready for some playoff action that you just watched.
We took a break on Monday for a glamorous review with Ruud Gullit in which I finally learned to spell Gullit correctly every time I typed it. Only one “I.” That’s a tip from the best.
Where am I finding all these great games? Well MLSNet is a great source though it tries its best to hide the content. Go to the MLS 2008 Schedule to view all the games month by month.
Let’s get down to business!
SEPTEMBER
Top News
-Toronto FC has too many international players
-Espindola hurts his ankle celebrating
-LA Keeper Josh Wicks has funny hair
-Samuel Adams makes a quality beer
Signings and Transfers
-Herculez Gomez is traded to Kansas City
-Red Bulls sign GK Terry Boss; did they know a drug suspension was coming?
-Red Bulls sign USL star Kandji
-Victorine is traded from KC to Chivas
-Movsisyan is traded to RSL
September 6th
-New England vs. Columbus: CLB 4, NE 0
This first goal in this game is one of my favorites. Schelotto scores his first goal in the run play and joy is etched across his face.
September 13th
-LA Galaxy vs. Kansas City: KC 2, LA 0
A key player in Kansas Cities run to the playoffs, Kevin Souter, saw the field for the first time in the season and stole the ball from Beckham with his first touch.
September 21st
-Dallas vs. Chicago: DAL 4, CHI 1
Jeff Cunningham showed why he should be believed in and it was probably the coach not him.
September 27th
-Salt Lake vs. San Jose: RSL 3, SJ 2
RSL gets an important win despite a Huckerby double.
Advantage Played: Feeling the Best and Worst
Feeling Best:
-Columbus: “We are as good as Sigi is round.”
Feeling Worst:
-Toronto: “Kansas City steals our chants!”
OCTOBER
Top News
-Rio Tinto Stadium opens
-Cooper turns down US call up and shocks the online soccer world
- Conway and Parke banned for performance enhancing drugs
-Real Salt Lake get into the playoffs
-Taylor Twellman is out for the rest of the season with concussion problems
-There is a new MLS cup trophy!
-Danny Cepero scores a fluke bouncer
-Will Johnson scores the goal of the year
Signings and Transfers
-Beckham is going to train with AC Milan and probably won’t return to MLS
October 4th
-Chivas vs. D.C.: CHV 3, DC 0
Chivas deal a crucial blow to D.C.’s title hopes.
October 12th
-Colorado vs. LA Galaxy: LA 3, COL 2
LA seemingly crushes Colorado’s playoff hopes.
October 18th
-Columbus vs. New York: NY 3, CLB 1
New York picks up crucial points against the league leader.
October 25th
-Salt Lake vs. Colorado: RSL1, COL 1
Movsisyan shows why he going to be a big star and brings Salt Lake into the playoffs.
Advantage Played: Feeling the Best and Worst
Feeling Best:
-Real Salt Lake: “Holy shit.”
Feeling Worst:
-Colorado: “No one thought we could make the playoffs but it is still a huge letdown”
-DC United: "Well this sucks."
Next Time on Advantage Played
We will wrap up the MLS 08 season. Get ready for some playoff action that you just watched.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Bats = Giant Bugs: A Real Interview With Ruud Gullit
The Man, The Legend, Ruud Gullit
Today we are taking a short break from the MLS season wrap-up (we’ll return to that on Wednesday) to talk with former Galaxy boss Ruud Gullit. I caught up with Ruud while visiting a clog manufacturing plant in Holland. While walking amongst the rows of ladies in white hats making wooden clogs we discussed his life, football, and surprisingly to anyone who doesn’t know the real Ruud, science. After the tour we headed to a local pub.
At the Dyke Plugger
We sat down in The Dyke Plugger to discuss his interview with three top Dutch scientists. During the interview he revealed to the scientists that he had uncovered a massive conspiracy within the scientific community.
An amateur bug lover in his spare time, Ruud has for some time been collecting data in a shiny plastic binder that proves that bats, do in fact, equal giant bugs.
After several shots of Dutch liquor, Zwarte Kip, we watched the interview on Ruud’s iPhone and he translated his groundbreaking interview for me.
The Interview
Scientific Hosts from left to right (Adriaan, Aagje, and Geertruida)
Aagje: We recently caught up with amateur scientist Ruud Gullit on the grounds of Feyenoord to discuss his recent scientific revelation, that bats equal large bugs. He was a little buzzed at the time from smoking the famous Dutch cannabis. He insisted over and over, despite all reason, that this should be a scientific fact. Let’s go to the interview.
Golden Haired Interviewer (GHI): You recently shocked the world by revealing that bats equal giant bugs. Should we be surprised by this?
Ruud: I don’t see why. It is common sense to anyone with eyes.
Aagje: We asked for proof and he insisted not once, not twice, but sixteen times that his theory was in fact correct.
GHI: Why are people skeptical about your bats equal giant bugs claim?
Ruud: I think they are afraid of bugs because they so popular everywhere around the world
GHI: But just like it’s a fact my hair is beautiful, it’s a fact that bats are not giant bugs.
Ruud: I think the scientist will just control public knowledge so it doesn't become more popular than their other famous giant bugs.
GHI: But bug fans everyone would love to hear this news, they want to know the truth.
Ruud: The scientists will never allow that.
GHI: Scientists are not partial thought; they want people to see how great bugs are. Wouldn’t this just make more people love bugs?
Ruud: Some bugs already have had a bit of a dive so they don't want the best bugs like the Stink Bug to become less popular, or the Giant Hissing Cockroach or the Japanese Giant Hornet.
GHI: This is ridiculous!
Ruud: Face it, bats are the big bug scourge of the skies.
GHI: I can tell you have put a lot of thought into this.
Ruud: Dusk! With a creepy, tingling sensation, you hear the fluttering of leathery wings! BATS!
GHI: There is no conspiracy!
Ruud: With glowing red eyes and glistening fangs, these unspeakable giant bugs drop onto you from above!
Interview Wrap-Up
After the interview Ruud and I parted ways. I enjoyed spending time with such an energetic and passionate personality until I realized Ruud had left me with the bill for the Zwarte Kip shots (10 Euros).
Next Time on Advantage Played
Back to the MLS 08 round up. We will take a look at September and October.
Today we are taking a short break from the MLS season wrap-up (we’ll return to that on Wednesday) to talk with former Galaxy boss Ruud Gullit. I caught up with Ruud while visiting a clog manufacturing plant in Holland. While walking amongst the rows of ladies in white hats making wooden clogs we discussed his life, football, and surprisingly to anyone who doesn’t know the real Ruud, science. After the tour we headed to a local pub.
At the Dyke Plugger
We sat down in The Dyke Plugger to discuss his interview with three top Dutch scientists. During the interview he revealed to the scientists that he had uncovered a massive conspiracy within the scientific community.
An amateur bug lover in his spare time, Ruud has for some time been collecting data in a shiny plastic binder that proves that bats, do in fact, equal giant bugs.
After several shots of Dutch liquor, Zwarte Kip, we watched the interview on Ruud’s iPhone and he translated his groundbreaking interview for me.
The Interview
Scientific Hosts from left to right (Adriaan, Aagje, and Geertruida)Aagje: We recently caught up with amateur scientist Ruud Gullit on the grounds of Feyenoord to discuss his recent scientific revelation, that bats equal large bugs. He was a little buzzed at the time from smoking the famous Dutch cannabis. He insisted over and over, despite all reason, that this should be a scientific fact. Let’s go to the interview.
Golden Haired Interviewer (GHI): You recently shocked the world by revealing that bats equal giant bugs. Should we be surprised by this?Ruud: I don’t see why. It is common sense to anyone with eyes.
Aagje: We asked for proof and he insisted not once, not twice, but sixteen times that his theory was in fact correct.
GHI: Why are people skeptical about your bats equal giant bugs claim?Ruud: I think they are afraid of bugs because they so popular everywhere around the world
GHI: But just like it’s a fact my hair is beautiful, it’s a fact that bats are not giant bugs.Ruud: I think the scientist will just control public knowledge so it doesn't become more popular than their other famous giant bugs.
GHI: But bug fans everyone would love to hear this news, they want to know the truth.Ruud: The scientists will never allow that.
GHI: Scientists are not partial thought; they want people to see how great bugs are. Wouldn’t this just make more people love bugs?Ruud: Some bugs already have had a bit of a dive so they don't want the best bugs like the Stink Bug to become less popular, or the Giant Hissing Cockroach or the Japanese Giant Hornet.
GHI: This is ridiculous!Ruud: Face it, bats are the big bug scourge of the skies.
GHI: I can tell you have put a lot of thought into this.Ruud: Dusk! With a creepy, tingling sensation, you hear the fluttering of leathery wings! BATS!
GHI: There is no conspiracy!Ruud: With glowing red eyes and glistening fangs, these unspeakable giant bugs drop onto you from above!
Interview Wrap-Up
After the interview Ruud and I parted ways. I enjoyed spending time with such an energetic and passionate personality until I realized Ruud had left me with the bill for the Zwarte Kip shots (10 Euros).
Next Time on Advantage Played
Back to the MLS 08 round up. We will take a look at September and October.
Friday, December 5, 2008
The Wayback Machine Part 3
Google Reader
Google Reader is one of those great boons to blog readers everywhere. It makes it easy to read and keep updated on blogs like Advantage Played without having to constantly hit F5. A new update came out for it today making us feel all shinny inside.
Google Reader does have its dark side though. Today I received an unmarked envelop with a message inside written in blood: “If I see you let up, even one little bit, I'll kick your ass out of my google reader so fast it'll make your head spin.”
MLS 2008: A Year in Review (July and August)
We are back and ever charging forward. July and August were full of heat and excitement. There were important trades as well as some great firings including the canning of sexy in football and the replacement of old and ugly.
JULY
Top News
-Schelotto is not included in the All Star Game
-Beckham lead the All-Stars to a win and then pretty much packs it in for the rest of the season
-Blanco took LSD before a game and started a fist fight with DC United
-Real Salt Lake start to pick up some steam
-Gallardo has to have surgery
-The Revolution take down a crazy person on their plane
Signing and Transfers (and one retirement)
-The whole Brian McBride thing gets sorted out
-Red Bulls sign Jorge Rojas and Juan Pietravallo
-San Jose sign Darren Huckerby who starts to turn things around
-Brad Guzan goes to Aston Villa for 1.5 million
-Claudio Reyna retires to cheers from Red Bulls fans
July 4th
-New York vs. Colorado: COL 4, NY 0
Red Bulls lose to Colorado and hit a low point in the season after just having lost to a USL2 team.
July 17th
-Kansas City vs. Columbus: KC 3, CLB 3
Schelotto really starts to come into fine form against the Wizards and helps complete an amazing comeback.
July 24th
-West Ham United vs. MLS All-Stars: MLS 3, WHU 2
Angry Toronto fans try and hold a self righteous strike/demonstration about great goals being scored in their stadium
July 27th
L A Galaxy vs. FC Dallas: DAL 4, LA 0
Dallas’ new coach destroys the Galaxy to revenge the earlier loss and show Morrow how it’s done.
Advantage Played: The Best and the Worse
Feeling the Best:
-Real Salt Lake: “Maybe we can do this! Our defense and Morales rock!”
Feeling the Worst:
-Red Bulls: “Well that’s five games without winning, I’m sure we will make a run to the MLS Cup final.”
-LA Galaxy: “Beckham? Guillit? Save us!
AUGUST
Top News
-Galaxy fail to win in August
-New England wins SuperLiga and then try to share the money
-The Western Conference sucks
Signings and Transfers
-Thorton goes to Chivas and become the starting goal keeper
-Noonan is traded to the Crew
-Jeff Cunningham is traded to Dallas and starts scoring
-Arena is named Galaxy head coach and tasked with rolling a huge rock up an impossible incline
-Carlos Ruiz goes to Toronto FC and proceeds to do nothing
-Michael Bradley moved to the Bundesliga
Firings
-The clueless and worthless Ruud Gullit is out, the soccer world knew it was going to happen when he put his house up on the market
-Also we said goodbye to Alexi Lalas, some very happily
-Goodbye and good riddance to Clavijo (though he did bring a lot of talent into the league)
August 3rd
-LA Galaxy vs. San Jose Earthquakes SJ 3, LA 2
After this game heads were about to roll in Lala Land.
August 9th
-Chivas USA vs. Kansas City: KC 3, CHV 2
Kansas City desperately hold on for a win and pick up much needed points.
August 16th
-New England vs. San Jose: SJ 4, NE 0
San Jose starts to pick up steam powered by Darren Huckerby.
Watch New England vs. San Jose
August 24th
Houston vs. New York: NY 3, HOU 0
New York win’s their third in a row and gives Soccer by Ives a hard-on.
Advantage Played: The Best and the Worse
Feeling the Best:
-Columbus Crew: “Bow down to Schelotto.”
Feeling the Worst:
-LA Galaxy: “I thought that when Gullit didn’t go the draft at the start of the season it was a positive sign!”
Next Time on Advantage Played
September and October and Bats: Are They Really Just Giant Bugs?
Google Reader is one of those great boons to blog readers everywhere. It makes it easy to read and keep updated on blogs like Advantage Played without having to constantly hit F5. A new update came out for it today making us feel all shinny inside.
Google Reader does have its dark side though. Today I received an unmarked envelop with a message inside written in blood: “If I see you let up, even one little bit, I'll kick your ass out of my google reader so fast it'll make your head spin.”
MLS 2008: A Year in Review (July and August)
We are back and ever charging forward. July and August were full of heat and excitement. There were important trades as well as some great firings including the canning of sexy in football and the replacement of old and ugly.
JULY
Top News
-Schelotto is not included in the All Star Game
-Beckham lead the All-Stars to a win and then pretty much packs it in for the rest of the season
-Blanco took LSD before a game and started a fist fight with DC United
-Real Salt Lake start to pick up some steam
-Gallardo has to have surgery
-The Revolution take down a crazy person on their plane
Signing and Transfers (and one retirement)
-The whole Brian McBride thing gets sorted out
-Red Bulls sign Jorge Rojas and Juan Pietravallo
-San Jose sign Darren Huckerby who starts to turn things around
-Brad Guzan goes to Aston Villa for 1.5 million
-Claudio Reyna retires to cheers from Red Bulls fans
July 4th
-New York vs. Colorado: COL 4, NY 0
Red Bulls lose to Colorado and hit a low point in the season after just having lost to a USL2 team.
July 17th
-Kansas City vs. Columbus: KC 3, CLB 3
Schelotto really starts to come into fine form against the Wizards and helps complete an amazing comeback.
July 24th
-West Ham United vs. MLS All-Stars: MLS 3, WHU 2
Angry Toronto fans try and hold a self righteous strike/demonstration about great goals being scored in their stadium
July 27th
L A Galaxy vs. FC Dallas: DAL 4, LA 0
Dallas’ new coach destroys the Galaxy to revenge the earlier loss and show Morrow how it’s done.
Advantage Played: The Best and the Worse
Feeling the Best:
-Real Salt Lake: “Maybe we can do this! Our defense and Morales rock!”
Feeling the Worst:
-Red Bulls: “Well that’s five games without winning, I’m sure we will make a run to the MLS Cup final.”
-LA Galaxy: “Beckham? Guillit? Save us!
AUGUST
Top News
-Galaxy fail to win in August
-New England wins SuperLiga and then try to share the money
-The Western Conference sucks
Signings and Transfers
-Thorton goes to Chivas and become the starting goal keeper
-Noonan is traded to the Crew
-Jeff Cunningham is traded to Dallas and starts scoring
-Arena is named Galaxy head coach and tasked with rolling a huge rock up an impossible incline
-Carlos Ruiz goes to Toronto FC and proceeds to do nothing
-Michael Bradley moved to the Bundesliga
Firings
-The clueless and worthless Ruud Gullit is out, the soccer world knew it was going to happen when he put his house up on the market
-Also we said goodbye to Alexi Lalas, some very happily
-Goodbye and good riddance to Clavijo (though he did bring a lot of talent into the league)
August 3rd
-LA Galaxy vs. San Jose Earthquakes SJ 3, LA 2
After this game heads were about to roll in Lala Land.
August 9th
-Chivas USA vs. Kansas City: KC 3, CHV 2
Kansas City desperately hold on for a win and pick up much needed points.
August 16th
-New England vs. San Jose: SJ 4, NE 0
San Jose starts to pick up steam powered by Darren Huckerby.
Watch New England vs. San Jose
August 24th
Houston vs. New York: NY 3, HOU 0
New York win’s their third in a row and gives Soccer by Ives a hard-on.
Advantage Played: The Best and the Worse
Feeling the Best:
-Columbus Crew: “Bow down to Schelotto.”
Feeling the Worst:
-LA Galaxy: “I thought that when Gullit didn’t go the draft at the start of the season it was a positive sign!”
Next Time on Advantage Played
September and October and Bats: Are They Really Just Giant Bugs?
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The Wayback Machine Part 2
Thank You
Welcome back to Advantage Played and the MLS year in review. I’ve got to start today by sending out a huge thanks to du Nord for the big shout-out. I feel fortunate to have such support for a blog that now has had only two updates.
MLS 2008: A Year in Review (May and June)
May and June. When fortunes fickle head swung back and forth guiding our emotions all over the spectrograph. Both May and June brought us big scoring games with some great goals that you probably forgot about. Well so did I, but looted the treasure chest of my memory and came up with an old roach and some great high scoring games.
Yes there were 1-1, 1-0, and 0-0 games. I’m just choosing not to show them to you. More goals means more excitement right? Right? Right? Ok maybe it means sloppy like your mom defending.
MAY
Top News
-Everyone was speculating about where Altidore was going to end up
-DC United gets Volkswagen as their shirt sponsor and is obligated to have a used car lot behind the goals
-I’m just going to put this up once (it counts for every month) so pay attention. The William Conde drama train was/is chugging along at 5 mph on a million mile journey and therefore will never reach its final destination.
-Fulham makes a great escape
-Steve Morrow gets fired from FC Dallas before he can put his “masterplan” into action
-Manchester United won some sort of obscure tournament
May 3rd
-Chicago vs. New England: CHI 3, NE 0
Way back on May the 3rd we got a look at a future playoff game. Chicago dominated and came out on top.
Watch Chicago vs. New England
-LA Galaxy vs. Real Salt Lake: LA 2, RSL 2
Beckham scores twice and looks like the player and showman everyone expected.
May 17th
-D.C. United vs. Chivas USA: CHV 3, DC 1
Chivas remind us why there were so great last season and come to life the last few minutes of the game.
May 18th
-LA Galaxy vs. FC Dallas: LA 5, DAL 1
Adrian Serioux got thrown out on his ass for a premeditated attack on Beckman.
May 25th
-Chicago vs. New York: CHI 5, NY 1
After this Chicago felt invincible and then immediately stopped winning.
Advantage Played: May’s Best and Worse
Feeling the Best:
-Chicago Fire: “Yes Blanco is a God. He will power us through the whole season and give Mapp a haircut at the same time!”
Feeling the Worst:
-Real Salt Lake: “Just wait to we get our own stadium and start taking the sports enhancer we advertise.”
JUNE
Top News
-Toronto wanted all they could get for McBride
-Altidore is sold to Villarreal for 10 million
-Throwing streamers: eXtremely controversial, Big Soccer posters throw a hissy fit
-FC Dallas gets Hyndman
-The DP blogs were running a high dollar excitement building ad campaign
-Josh Wolff returns to the KC Wizards and promises not to get injured every again
June 4th
-Houston vs. D.C. United: Match postponed
That was a lot of rain. Wait till it starts raining wherever you live, then go outside and think about this post if you want highlights.
June 7th
-San Jose vs. Columbus: SJ 2, CLB 0
San Jose shows fight and get themselves an away win at Columbus.
June 14th
-Columbus vs. Kansas City: CLB 3, KC 0
Columbus break their losing streak against the Wizards to my personal horror.
Watch Columbus vs. KC
June 21st
-Columbus vs. LA Galaxy: CLB 3, LA 3
The Galaxy give it up again and allow Columbus to dramatically come from behind.
June 29th
-LA Galaxy vs. D.C. United: DC 4, LA 1
DC put on an impressive scoring display and continue to put LA in its place.
Advantage Played: June’s Best and Worse
Feeling the Best:
-New England: “Twellman is back! I can’t wait to stare at his tight fitting shirts!”
Feeling the Worst:
-KC Wizards: “The road goes ever on, over rock and under tree, then turns at last to home afar.”
-San Jose: “We need a savior or steroids. Let’s get the Red Bulls to do some taste testing for us.”
Feeling Crazy:
LA Galaxy: “I’m having so many mood swings I feel like I’m Beckham listening to Tom Cruise talk about Scientology.”
Next time on Advantage Played
We will have a jolly good time reviewing July and August. And I promise to have fewer LA highlights but not jokes. Important games coming up you want me to cover? Email away (up top yo).
Welcome back to Advantage Played and the MLS year in review. I’ve got to start today by sending out a huge thanks to du Nord for the big shout-out. I feel fortunate to have such support for a blog that now has had only two updates.
MLS 2008: A Year in Review (May and June)
May and June. When fortunes fickle head swung back and forth guiding our emotions all over the spectrograph. Both May and June brought us big scoring games with some great goals that you probably forgot about. Well so did I, but looted the treasure chest of my memory and came up with an old roach and some great high scoring games.
Yes there were 1-1, 1-0, and 0-0 games. I’m just choosing not to show them to you. More goals means more excitement right? Right? Right? Ok maybe it means sloppy like your mom defending.
MAY
Top News
-Everyone was speculating about where Altidore was going to end up
-DC United gets Volkswagen as their shirt sponsor and is obligated to have a used car lot behind the goals
-I’m just going to put this up once (it counts for every month) so pay attention. The William Conde drama train was/is chugging along at 5 mph on a million mile journey and therefore will never reach its final destination.
-Fulham makes a great escape
-Steve Morrow gets fired from FC Dallas before he can put his “masterplan” into action
-Manchester United won some sort of obscure tournament
May 3rd
-Chicago vs. New England: CHI 3, NE 0
Way back on May the 3rd we got a look at a future playoff game. Chicago dominated and came out on top.
Watch Chicago vs. New England
-LA Galaxy vs. Real Salt Lake: LA 2, RSL 2
Beckham scores twice and looks like the player and showman everyone expected.
May 17th
-D.C. United vs. Chivas USA: CHV 3, DC 1
Chivas remind us why there were so great last season and come to life the last few minutes of the game.
May 18th
-LA Galaxy vs. FC Dallas: LA 5, DAL 1
Adrian Serioux got thrown out on his ass for a premeditated attack on Beckman.
May 25th
-Chicago vs. New York: CHI 5, NY 1
After this Chicago felt invincible and then immediately stopped winning.
Advantage Played: May’s Best and Worse
Feeling the Best:
-Chicago Fire: “Yes Blanco is a God. He will power us through the whole season and give Mapp a haircut at the same time!”
Feeling the Worst:
-Real Salt Lake: “Just wait to we get our own stadium and start taking the sports enhancer we advertise.”
JUNE
Top News
-Toronto wanted all they could get for McBride
-Altidore is sold to Villarreal for 10 million
-Throwing streamers: eXtremely controversial, Big Soccer posters throw a hissy fit
-FC Dallas gets Hyndman
-The DP blogs were running a high dollar excitement building ad campaign
-Josh Wolff returns to the KC Wizards and promises not to get injured every again
June 4th
-Houston vs. D.C. United: Match postponed
That was a lot of rain. Wait till it starts raining wherever you live, then go outside and think about this post if you want highlights.
June 7th
-San Jose vs. Columbus: SJ 2, CLB 0
San Jose shows fight and get themselves an away win at Columbus.
June 14th
-Columbus vs. Kansas City: CLB 3, KC 0
Columbus break their losing streak against the Wizards to my personal horror.
Watch Columbus vs. KC
June 21st
-Columbus vs. LA Galaxy: CLB 3, LA 3
The Galaxy give it up again and allow Columbus to dramatically come from behind.
June 29th
-LA Galaxy vs. D.C. United: DC 4, LA 1
DC put on an impressive scoring display and continue to put LA in its place.
Advantage Played: June’s Best and Worse
Feeling the Best:
-New England: “Twellman is back! I can’t wait to stare at his tight fitting shirts!”
Feeling the Worst:
-KC Wizards: “The road goes ever on, over rock and under tree, then turns at last to home afar.”
-San Jose: “We need a savior or steroids. Let’s get the Red Bulls to do some taste testing for us.”
Feeling Crazy:
LA Galaxy: “I’m having so many mood swings I feel like I’m Beckham listening to Tom Cruise talk about Scientology.”
Next time on Advantage Played
We will have a jolly good time reviewing July and August. And I promise to have fewer LA highlights but not jokes. Important games coming up you want me to cover? Email away (up top yo).
Monday, December 1, 2008
The Wayback Machine Part 1
MLS 2008: A Year in Review
This past MLS season you watched hundreds of hours of MLS soccer, but how much of it do you remember? Between the beers, the hotdogs, heat, cold, and banging your head against a wall you probably don’t remember much of the season except you failed and the Crew won.
So let’s go back. Way, way back to March of 2008. The start of the season. Before you put on that extra ten pounds.
Oh and welcome to Advantage Played. Updates on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thurfridays.
March
Top March News
-Holy shit it’s a new MLS season
March 29th
-D.C. United vs Kansas City: KC 2 DC 0
Kansas City have an exciting false start. After the first game Wizard fans thought Lopez was the next coming of God and Trujilo was a brilliant signing.
Watch DC vs KC
-LA vs. Colorado: Col 4 LA 0
LA decided to showcase in their first league game what the rest of the season would be all about. Poor defending.
Watch LA vs. Colorado
Advantage Played: March’s Best and Worse
Feeling the best:
-KC Wizards: “Our new designated player is the part of a bee that is the knees!”
Feeling the worst:
-LA Galaxy: “I’m not worried. I’m sure Ruud Gullit has an ace up his sexy sleeve.”
April
Top April News
-Seattle will be called Seattle Sounders FC after fan vote
-Toronto FC signs Amado Guevara, brings hope to the hopeless
-John Guppy leaves Chicago Fire to the sound of cheers
-Jozy Altidore shows why he should be in Europe
-Gallardo’s incredible volley makes us think he can lead DC United to the Cup
April 5th
-Toronto vs D.C. United: DC 4, TOR 1
DC shows up and pretends to be contenders with flashes of power
April 12th
-Chivas vs.Columbus Crew: CLB 4, CHV 3
The Crew start to show what they are made of and record their first comeback win of many
-D.C. United vs. Real Salt Lake: RSL 4, DC 0
Real Salt Lake proves there are contenders. Maybe Jason Kreis knows what he is talking about?
Watch DC vs. RSL
April 26th
-Chivas vs. LA Galaxy: LA 5, CHV 2
Donovan dominates and gets a hat trick against a weak Chivas defense and Brad Guzan. Bekman and Donovan will surely be unstoppable together!
Advantage Played: March’s Best and Worse
Feeling the best:
Columbus Crew: “Suck on this Brucio!”
Feeling the worse:
Houston Dynamo: “Were deep and experienced. Really. The losses are just signs of positive things to come.”
Next time on Advantage Played:
May and June
Suggestions for the upcoming months? Comments, questions? grahamfox@gmail.com
This past MLS season you watched hundreds of hours of MLS soccer, but how much of it do you remember? Between the beers, the hotdogs, heat, cold, and banging your head against a wall you probably don’t remember much of the season except you failed and the Crew won.
So let’s go back. Way, way back to March of 2008. The start of the season. Before you put on that extra ten pounds.
Oh and welcome to Advantage Played. Updates on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thurfridays.
March
Top March News
-Holy shit it’s a new MLS season
March 29th
-D.C. United vs Kansas City: KC 2 DC 0
Kansas City have an exciting false start. After the first game Wizard fans thought Lopez was the next coming of God and Trujilo was a brilliant signing.
Watch DC vs KC
-LA vs. Colorado: Col 4 LA 0
LA decided to showcase in their first league game what the rest of the season would be all about. Poor defending.
Watch LA vs. Colorado
Advantage Played: March’s Best and Worse
Feeling the best:
-KC Wizards: “Our new designated player is the part of a bee that is the knees!”
Feeling the worst:
-LA Galaxy: “I’m not worried. I’m sure Ruud Gullit has an ace up his sexy sleeve.”
April
Top April News
-Seattle will be called Seattle Sounders FC after fan vote
-Toronto FC signs Amado Guevara, brings hope to the hopeless
-John Guppy leaves Chicago Fire to the sound of cheers
-Jozy Altidore shows why he should be in Europe
-Gallardo’s incredible volley makes us think he can lead DC United to the Cup
April 5th
-Toronto vs D.C. United: DC 4, TOR 1
DC shows up and pretends to be contenders with flashes of power
April 12th
-Chivas vs.Columbus Crew: CLB 4, CHV 3
The Crew start to show what they are made of and record their first comeback win of many
-D.C. United vs. Real Salt Lake: RSL 4, DC 0
Real Salt Lake proves there are contenders. Maybe Jason Kreis knows what he is talking about?
Watch DC vs. RSL
April 26th
-Chivas vs. LA Galaxy: LA 5, CHV 2
Donovan dominates and gets a hat trick against a weak Chivas defense and Brad Guzan. Bekman and Donovan will surely be unstoppable together!
Advantage Played: March’s Best and Worse
Feeling the best:
Columbus Crew: “Suck on this Brucio!”
Feeling the worse:
Houston Dynamo: “Were deep and experienced. Really. The losses are just signs of positive things to come.”
Next time on Advantage Played:
May and June
Suggestions for the upcoming months? Comments, questions? grahamfox@gmail.com
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