Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Beckham Experiment: Yup, Still a Dick

Anyone who reads Advantage Played regularly knows one thing about me, I really don’t like David Beckham. The “ultimate professional” has never been a true professional and his actions on and off the field have proven that to every Major League Soccer fan.

A Professional Unprofessional

When exactly did I realize Beckham was nothing more than a passive aggressive punk? I know the exact moment when my genuine dislike for Beckham was pushed over the top. The Wizard’s took on the Galaxy in the Home Depot Center and Eloy Colombano, a short lived Wizard’s forward was zooming around the field. At some point, Beckham and Eloy collided with each other. There was no intention from Eloy, it was not even really a challenge.

Instead of recognizing the situation, David Beckham picked the ball up off the ground, stood in front of Eloy, and pretended to drop kick the ball into his face.

What a dick.

Beckham has long coasted through his stay in Major League Soccer hiding his actions under the title of professional. No longer. Grant Wahl’s book, The Beckham Experiment, clearly exposes Beckham’s lack of professional décor.

What is a Professional?

Hello my name is Sanjeeve Himachali

What exactly is a professional, and does Beckham qualify? For that, let’s turn to an expert, Sanjeeve Himachali. Mr. Himachali eloquently wrote out his thoughts on what makes a professional. I sat down with Sanjeeve and together we discussed Beckham.

Advantage Played
AP: Hello Sanjeeve, thanks for taking the time to talk with us. I just read the book "The Beckham Experiment" in which Beckham repeatedly calls himself a professional and then acts like a passive aggressive dick. I realized I didn’t know the official meaning of professionalism so I thought maybe you could help us out.

Sanjeeve: Ah yes, thank you very much Mr. Advantage. It is a great honor to be interviewed by such a honorary and established blog.

Advantage Played
AP: Yes thanks Sanjeeve, thanks for that.

Sanjeeve: You are a great writer Mr. Advantage, I can tell we will be great friends, just call me San.

Advantage Played
AP: Thanks San, just call me Advantage. So San, What is a professional?

San: I can tell you what a Professional is in just two short bullet points:
  • Professionalism means not just knowing how to do your job, but demonstrating a willingness to learn, cooperating and getting along with others, showing respect, and living up to your commitments.
  • It also means avoiding many kinds of behaviors that cause trouble in the workplace.
Advantage Played
Advantage: Beckham know how to do his job. He’s proven that many times. He can put his balls into any hole with remarkable accuracy. But you have to be willing to learn, cooperate, show respect, and live up to your commitments.

San: Ah yes that is right Advantage. And by that standard Mr. Wahl has show time and time again in his most excellent new book that Beckham fails. He is a good footballer, but being a professional means excelling in times of hardship. It means taking a new situation and bringing everyone up with you.

It means working and playing with all your heart every day. It means embracing your co-workers strengths. Instead of saying that MLS needs better players, it means leading your teammates to victory through true leadership.

Most importantly it means living up to your commitments. That means you don’t leave practice early every day. It means you don’t run away to the other side of the world and talk, excuse me, shit, on your teammates.

Words are nothing. Professionals show results through their actions.

Advantage Played
Advantage: Now San, you say that a professional avoids behaviors that cause trouble in the workplace?

San: Yes yes.

Advantage Played
Advantage: So when Beckham leveraged his entertainment group to basically take control of the Galaxy he was not acting as a professional?

San: That is right Advantage, but not all of the fault goes to Beckham here. Sure he may be sleazy and unprofessional but the whole situation was caused by Tim Leiweke, head of AEG. He was taken in by the glam and glitz around Beckham and gave him the respect a professional deserves, instead of a very sneaky rich person.

Advantage Played
Advantage: Thanks for you time San. You've got great hair.

San: Anytime Mr. Advantage. I just got it cut and my eyebrows were also refreshed by a good plucking.

Advantage Played
Advantage: That about wraps it up for today. I know I’ve learned a lot about MLS and what professionalism isn’t by reading The Beckham Experiment and I know you will too.

Until next time, when I make fun of someone else and then show a random music video, this is Advantage Played signing off.


Charley said...

that was a random video, but hilarious.

I am so excited to read this book!

Sadly, being a poor college student, i may have to wait a little while before i can get it, but it really looks like this could be a real eye opener for the league and for the readers about beckham, but also about the MLS, and how crappy it is to be a player here. The terrible salary alone makes the job, more of a labor of love for most players than an actual job job.

i fell into the trap of believing in beckham at the beginning, but i was younger and had just gotten into soccer so i feel like that assuages me from any grief.

Anonymous said...

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. seriously. it flipped my switch, and i liked it. you kick ass mr. advantage