14 Days Till We Feel the Fire

White Winter Hymnal from Grandchildren on Vimeo.

This update is not about Aki Riihilahti. He’s not going to San Jose. I’m just a worthless rumor monger, but I blame the 1906 Ultras for making me so.

Graham (that’s me): Down and Out and Bored

This lady is also bored and will talk to you for 5.99 a minute

It’s been a while since I felt the fire of soccer burning within me (no I don’t have herpes). So far this off season I’ve been:

• Following the David Beckham situation and pretending not to
• Cheering on the Wizard’s Graham Zusi because he has my first name
• Setting up Google News alters to compensate for no DuNord
• Learning just how many MLS blogs there are (at least 20)
• Knowing hardly anything about RSL’s team
• Watching Match of the Day
• Watching Match of the Day 2 while falling asleep on my couch
• Twittering download links to Mininova and wondering if it breaks the TOS

You get the picture. It hasn’t exactly been drunken clowns at a birthday party fun. More like watching a Harry Potter movie on mute while reading Pride and Prejudice as Kei Kamara tries to engage you in a rap battle fun.

So after watching the first leg of the Houston vs Atlante Champions League quarterfinal (1-1); I was excited to see if Houston could make MLS history and pull out a win away from home.

Houston: Down and Out in Mexico


I had reason to hope it might happen. The first leg, although disappointing, featured good play by several Houston players. Kei Kamara fought hard for the ball and had several good shots on goal. They outplayed Atlante at times. They got a great goal off a corner and had a total of a bazillion corners. Could they still win without Ol’ Dwayne?

So last night I turned on Veetle (best streaming service ever) and tuned into FSC at 9pm sharp. There they were, the drums beating, the crowd half filling the stadium, the Dynamo proud in their cute little kits with baby blue sleeves.

“If they come out halfway decent and dominate the first 15 minutes maybe they can win” I told myself.

“I know it’s preseason but the first performance was encouraging.”

And then it began. The Dynamo proceeded to:

• Lose EVERY SINGLE BALL in the air
• Forget how to pass
• Forget that the first touch is important
• Forget that it is possible to shoot from outside the box
• Get drawn into Atlante’s dirty mind games (involves a donkey named Kinky Kelly)

The Fire Burns Deep Within

Then the slow motion lighter hit the gas station. Kei Kamara ran down the left side of the field with the ball. He danced past one defender. Houston crashed the box. And Kamara hit the cross. Up. Up. Up. And all the way back across the fucking track into the stands.

I stood up and yelled “FUUUUCK YOUUUUU.” I was furious. Every horrible touch made me burn inside. Every missed header made me flinch.

I was involved in the game. I wanted Houston to win. All of a sudden I was angry at the shit Houston was trying to pass of as the beautiful game. I was angry at the ref for not giving Atlante red cards. I was really angry when Ching missed from point blank range.

The days of watching Match of the Day half-asleep on the couch are almost over.

It’s almost time to care about soccer again.